DepositPhotos

We not only play a leading role in our stories but sometimes we choose to sit out in the audience too. That’s the thought I had this morning.  We live out our stories, we make choices, and we engage with other characters. Yet, there are times when circumstances will tempt us to do more observing/questioning and less actual living.  We become spectators instead of active participants. I’ve felt more like a spectator these last couple of days.  I’m waiting to see how the current scene unfolds and how/if that might impact the next chapter.

Recently, I’ve had some strange health issues.  Nothing horrible.  But all of it does have me feeling different from normal. I went to the doctor yesterday.  After hearing my list of grievances, he thought blood work would be a good idea. Now, it’s time to wait and see if there’s a reasonable explanation for what’s been going on. I know it’s not good to self-diagnose but I seem to be asking myself a lot of questions.  What could this mean? Will it get worse? Will it get better? Will it go away?

Last night, I decided that even though I’m not feeling 100%, I needed to commit to a run today. Why?  Because I don’t like this lopsided feeling going on inside of me, that feeling where I tend to retreat from living and go into spectator mode.  I don’t like it when out of the ordinary circumstances tempt me to take more of a holding pattern approach to my day-to-day living. Yes, I understand that some times we have no choice.  We have to wait.  But today, like every day, I do have a choice on whether I wait passively or actively.

No more circling.  No more waiting for answers to come.  It’s time to go out for a run.

 Update: Two (not so pretty) miles today.  Good thing pretty isn’t the point.  🙂