A Soul in Search of a Sunrise


“Look at me in trust, anticipating that My infinite creativity can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely design. Because you are human, you will continue to make mistakes. Thinking that you should live an error-free life is symptomatic of pride. Your failures can be a source of blessing, humbling you and giving you empathy for other people in their weaknesses. Best of all, failure highlights your dependence on Me. I am able to bring beauty out of the morass of your mistakes. Trust me, and watch to see what I will do.” Sarah Young

These are words that fire me up. I am thankful that it is possible to look in the rear view mirror and see how the wreckage has been transformed into beauty. I love that where I once only saw dark stormy skies I now see a sunrise. Sometimes, I wonder if the “goal” of life is to look for the sunrise and then when we discover it, we spend the rest of our days reminding ourselves and others to look for the sunrise too. It may sound strange but a part of me feels as if my calling in life is to point to the sunrise, the one behind us and the one yet to come. This is what sets my soul on fire.

A couple of weeks ago, on the way to church, my son and I were talking about pain and suffering. One of the hardest parts about trusting Jesus is believing that everything we go through is part of a bigger piece of the puzzle that we sometimes (MOST of the time) can’t see. I quoted Romans 8:28 to my son. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” All we might be able to perceive, at the time, is that God seems to have failed us, seems to have been horribly unfair, or seems to be dragging His feet when we know He has the power to act.

Many years ago, I allowed many of those sorts of resentments to pull me off the path He wanted me on. I told my son that the journey of losing my mom was a hard one for me and I struggled to understand the “why.”  Today, I still don’t understand why…but I do know why. Let me repeat that: I don’t understand why…but I do know why.

Would I want my mom here with me today if I could have her? In a heartbeat! Yet, it took that pain and the wrong turns that followed after her death to get me to the point where I could look beyond the storm and see the sunrise….or maybe it’s more fitting to say the SONrise. When I surrendered all the shattered pieces of my heart to Him, I caught glimpses of His incredible faithfulness and those beautiful glimpses captured my heart.

Though born from pain, suffering and many, many mistakes, I wouldn’t trade those gift-filled glimpses for anything. Tucked away inside those gifts is all the hope, all the joy, and all the peace I need to keep traveling up life’s path.

P.S.  After I quoted Romans 8:28 on the way to church that morning, guess what was one of the verses the pastor quoted in his message? Yep, Romans 8:28. I got home from church and decided to Google “how many verses are in the Bible?” The answer: 31,102.

31,102 verses in the Bible and the pastor quotes that one.  God is good!

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