After a week of being sick and confined to my house, I’m finally beginning to feel better. I sat down at my computer several times in the last week to write, but the words weren’t there.
Earlier this week, my husband and I followed through on a decision to put our house on the market. Our realtor came by to pick up the paperwork. Before leaving, he stuck a For Sale sign in the front yard.
A few minutes later my dog saw the suspicious sign at the end of the driveway. I watched as her demeanor went from casual sniffing mode to “hair raised on back” defense mode. She crept slowly and cautiously toward the sign and let out a warning bark. A part of me knows exactly how she feels. I haven’t gotten used to seeing it there either.
It’s weird to think about selling our house. At this point, we still don’t have any firm idea where we might be headed. The planner inside me (as you can imagine) is freaking out. Actually, the planner inside me is too freaked out to freak out. Currently planner girl is sitting quietly off in the corner sipping her coffee, feeling overwhelmed by all the questions with no answers.
Other than feeling under the weather, it’s these questions that have made it difficult for me to write this week. My heart feels like it’s in some sort of holding pattern. I wish I could say that my faith is growing stronger and I’m joyfully trusting the Lord to guide us to what is next. But that wouldn’t be entirely true. What’s true is I’ve been busy handing the waves of fear and doubt back over to the Lord every other minute.
Here, Lord, take this fear again. Today, I want to cling to what is true. You are bigger than all the questions. Help me to rest in your timing.
“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.” (Psalm 91: 1-2)
I love the reminder in these verses. Home is with the Most High. He is our sure foundation when life around us seems unstable.