Yesterday, was one of those days where it felt like I was discovering pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and placing them down where they belong. I once wrote a post about how I can often pick out a theme in the daily story that I’m living. There are lessons we are supposed to learn and there are growth spurts we are designed to have as we walk along this path. I want to keep my eyes open for pieces of the puzzle found along the path.
I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s book, “Daring Greatly.” Her book is about vulnerability and shame. Her book has been opening my eyes to ways that I still hide and I still hold back in my life. Sometimes, the “what will people think of me” fear still threatens to paralyze me.
I’ve been chewing on these words for a few days:
“Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it’s a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.” Brene Brown
As I wrote yesterday’s blog post, I felt that fear come up. I wanted to share about these beautiful trees in my neighborhood. In my Google search I discovered a weird random fact about the tree and it made me pause. This might not seem like a big deal to you, but it was for me. The pause, the hesitation was fear induced. The pause was “what will you of think of me” if I share that discovery.
As a writer, I’m also an observer of life. It’s hard for me to only share half stories. In hindsight, my post yesterday was a small puzzle piece on the path. I chose to pick it up and place it down where it belonged. More than anything, I think choosing to write that little post yesterday was an exercise in overcoming (just a little bit more) the “what will you think of me” fear. More than anything, I want to be completely free of that fear. LIke Brene Brown says…it’s a waste of time.
Halfway through my day, I picked up another puzzle piece along the path. I read Michele Cushatt’s beautiful post about needing to honor what sits outside her window. Currently the view outside her window is cancer so she writes about it. I absolutely loved her definition of a writer.
“That said, I am a writer. Through and through. Like a child on a long road trip looking out the window, a writer takes in a scene, turns it over in her hand and heart, and then attempts to recreate the vision with words. For today, the scenery outside my window holds the color of cancer…” Michele Cushatt
Michele’s words describe the process so well and I encourage you to read her entire post.
We travel though a particular season in our life and, as writers, we do our best to honor the season we are in.
I’m discovering along the way that writing is often a journey of growth and understanding. And sometimes, as I ride along, the story I write chooses me rather than me choosing it. Sometimes the story that chooses me is designed to take me by the hand and lead me one more step away from the shadows and the fear and out into the warm sunlight.