Folks, I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record player sometimes. But I can’t help myself. I know God can choose to use broken record players. 🙂
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and song lyrics were playing on repeat again.
“I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone”
The words kept repeating, too loud to just ignore or roll over and go back to sleep.
Yesterday, was one of those days…one of those days when waves of panic would hit me and knock me down. Change does that to me sometimes…especially if I begin looking at the mountain instead of the moment.
One of my favorite Elisabeth Elliott quotes just came to mind.
“Today is mine. Tomorrow is none of my business. If I peer anxiously into the fog of the future, I will strain my spiritual eyes so that I will not see clearly what is required of me now.”
As I was listening to those song lyrics in bed last night. Two things crossed my mind. First, I remembered a post I wrote a couple of years ago about feeling overwhelmed. Since I was awake any way, I went back and found that post. Here are a few parts that stood out as I reread it again.
“Your God is present among you,
a strong Warrior there to save you.
Happy to have you back, he’ll calm you with his love
and delight you with his songs.” ~Zephaniah 3: 17 Message
I love lots of things about this journey, but having this kind of love present in my life, one that is big enough and strong enough to set me free from things that hold my heart captive, has got to be the most precious gift ever.
I’ve often said that I’m so glad that when I made the decision to take back hold of His hand and walk with Him, he didn’t (and still doesn’t) address all my “issues” at once. Looking back, I think it would have overwhelmed me.
The other morning, I put the following comment on Facebook:
Nothing makes me hyperventilate more (and do a tiny little freak out on the inside) than when I receive 17 emails in a span of 90 minutes from my client. Deep breaths. Coffee. Let’s go! 🙂
I’m so glad that my journey with God doesn’t look like my email inbox.
God’s love should never stress us out. God’s love should never feel like 17 tasks waiting in our email inbox.
I then thought about how much I admire folks who seem to thrive under pressure. I think about athletes who seem to get better when all eyes are on them to win the game. I marvel at the player who must take the last minute free throw that wins a championship basketball game. I marvel at the last minute field go a football player scores to bring his team into the lead.
That, I can tell you, is not my gift. Pressure tends to unravel me. And, I’m thankful that, in life, winning the game doesn’t rest on me alone. I don’t have to have all the answers or make the game winning shot. I just have to cling to the One who does have all the answers and did make the game winning shot.
I then thought about this memory of when I was in high school and one of my peers was challenging me for my clarinet chair in the band. We both had to take turns going into our music teacher’s office and playing a solo to see who would now be sitting in the better chair. I remember being so nervous during my try out that I asked my teacher if he would mind if I just turned my chair around and faced the wall while I played my solo piece. The challenge and pressure would be easier if I couldn’t see the judge’s eyes looking at me. I’m surprised my teacher agreed to these conditions. I’m even more surprised I won the challenge and saved my chair. 😉
This morning when my eyes opened, another song was “calming me with His love.”
“Our God is the Lion, the Lion of Judah…Our God is the Lamb, the Lamb that was slain…who can stop the Lord Almighty.”
I got up, fixed my coffee, and opened up my devotional for the day. The last part spoke loudest to me this morning.
“If we’re going to fully follow our heavenly Father, we’re going to need to pay attention to His messages! Remember, His divine communication comes in a variety of formats: His Word, a fellow believer’s counsel, a Bible Plan, a dream or vision, a whisper, or a nudging thought. Yes, the mode of God’s communication is vast because He’s a BIG God and a communication expert desiring to continually connect with you!”
The devotional I’m currently reading will also recommend a song to listen to. “First” by Lauren Daigle” was this morning’s song. It was perfect.
Today…I can’t turn away from a challenge and face the wall…but I can turn up His voice and treasure His calming presence in my life.
“You are my treasure and my reward
Let nothing ever come before
I seek You”