I am coming up on the anniversary of my mom’s death. It’s been 19 years and I continue to think about her on an almost daily basis. I have been compelled to write about her in many of my blog posts over the past year. It is one topic I never get tired of talking about.
My mom died on a Sunday at 8:30 in the evening. I feel blessed to have been able to sit by her side and hold her hand. In the years following her death, I used to think that there was some sort of unspoken time line about how long you could “grieve” for a loved one and then you somehow needed to move on. You somehow had to get over it. You somehow had to find a way to let go.
Yet, over the years, I have learned that when you lose someone it doesn’t work that way. God never intended for me to move on or to get past the experience. The loss of my mom makes up a part of who I am, it always will. I have watched God turn my deepest hurt into an even deeper assurance in Him.
That Sunday evening, so many years ago, was not the start of a journey teaching me about how to move on and let go…but the start of a journey teaching me how to hold on.
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23 (NIV)
This morning before work I was tempted to not take a moment and sit down and have a quiet time. So, while I was on the computer, I decided to play “I Wonder What This Chapter Says On Biblegateway.com” It’s the high tech way of randomly opening up your bible to a certain page and reading it. I know it is not the most efficient way to have a quiet time…but sometimes it at least gets me started.
I typed in 2 Corinthians 5, not knowing for sure what topic it would bring up, and read the NIV version of the first 14 verses. Then, I flipped it to The Message translation to read it there too. I laughed out loud. “Spacious”…the word I blogged about yesterday was there!
2 Corinthians 5: 6-8
That’s why we live with such good cheer. You won’t see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don’t get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It’s what we trust in but don’t yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we’ll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming.
God cares about every detail of our lives. Even when I am tempted to rush through my quiet time…He supplies me with everything I need! Thanks, Lord!