One Moment

Our normally scheduled Into the Beautiful Link Up will be back next week. Today, I am excited to invite you all to participate in another beautiful link up hosted by Inciting Incidents, a new book released September 1st. It features several authors who personally share about these unforgettable moments in their own lives.

I am passionate about the message in this book. A single moment in time has the power to speak to us for the rest of our lives. That one moment continues to shape us, grow us and teach us…if we allow it.  I have had many of these moments in my life.  Today, I was invited to share one of these significant events with my readers:

Like a tattoo forever etched into my heart, I still remember the hours leading up to my mom’s death. I sat by her bedside holding her hand. At one point she lost consciousness and I had to call to her several times before she woke up. I will never forget the story her eyes shared with me when she came to; it was a story of joy and hope.

I have no doubt that when she saw my eyes looking back at her they were telling a completely different story; a story of fear, fear and more fear. But her eyes were filled with confidence, complete confidence in a Savior who is forever faithful. If that moment was not poignant enough, she went on to reassure me with these incredible words, “You don’t have to worry about me, I am going to be fine.” Then she recited the 23rd Psalm.

As I sat there that afternoon watching my mom’s life on this earth come to an end, it dawned on me that I wasn’t worried about her, I was worried about me.

~ A Mistake Maker’s Manifesto & More

That moment in time, sitting by my mom’s bedside and looking into her eyes, was a pivotal scene in my life. My mom had spent years pouring into me. Her light shined brightly into my life. When she was my guide, I was strong. I could rest in the shadow of her wing and my faith held tight. But when that anchor disappeared what would be the result? What would I choose?

Would I choose to run in fear? Would I choose to walk in faith?

This was the moment in my life when every thing I thought I believed was put to the test. This was the moment in my life when I realized that I didn’t know the first thing about trusting in an unseen God. All my life, I had been riding the coattails of my mom’s faith.

When my mom died, I ran away.

I ran into a dysfunctional marriage dripping with deception. Emotional and verbal abusive became my world. Eventually, the relationship ended. He went to federal prison and served time for fraud, and I went back home to live with my dad.

When my mom died, I ran away.

I ran to all the numbing comfort that a coffee mug full of wine could offer me. It didn’t take the pain away. It didn’t solve any of my problems or change any of my choices. It only left me hiding away in a dark living room consumed by guilt and shame.

When my mom died, I ran away.

I ran until I was exhausted. I ran until the whisper pounding away in my heart became too loud to ignore any more.

Run to Me. I’ve got this. You can trust Me. I am your Rock.

After a decade of living on the run, I finally chose to turn around. What I discovered was that all the hope and all the joy I first witnessed in my mom’s eyes was there waiting for me too.

One moment in time…it crushed me…then it freed me.

I would love for you to share about an event in your own journey which helped to move your story forward. Perhaps you didn’t recognize it at the time but in hindsight you understand how crucial that event was in your life. You can share the story in as little or as much detail as you want.

Please head over to Inciting Incidents and share your story.

I look forward to reading about your journey!

6 thoughts on “One Moment

    1. Eileen Post author

      Thanks, Bill. It fascinates me how God continues to teach us and grow us through painful past experiences. He certainly makes beautiful things out of the pain.

      Reply
  1. Katherine O. Cooper

    okay…I’m going to mention it one more time – thanks Joseph Iregbu for the connection! This is beautiful Eileen, and is quite similar to my response to watching my mother pass on as well. I’ve not yet started writing about it in detail. It’s almost like I don’t want anyone to know my “secret” in the form of an ultimate private connection that she and I shared. It’s been 7 years, so the pain is much more managable and life has become much more steady. I hope that yours has as well. In anycase…duty calls, and I do hope that time allows connecting further in the coming days and weeks.

    Reply
    1. Eileen Post author

      Thank you, Joseph! I am sorry to hear about your loss. I didn’t write about it for years either…but since doing so it’s been the most healing of journeys. It’s been 21 years and not too long ago I realized that you never get over the loss. It becomes a part of who you are and somehow God has a way of taking that pain and grief and using it for His glory! I will be sure to come visit your blog, Katherine. It’s good to connect.

      Reply

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