Christmas day had a different feel to it this year. We’ve been spending the week with my husband’s family. I am happy and thankful for this time together. Yet, throughout our time together, a wave of sadness would periodically rush over me.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had a Christmas where I have so profoundly felt both joy and sorrow. Not surprisingly, I felt it most strongly the first Christmas after my mom died over 20 years ago. And, I know, as long as the Lord continues to grant me breath for another day, these two emotions will continue to be the tension tugging on my soul.
My friend Andi, said it so beautifully on Facebook last night…”This season, the phrase “comfort and joy” has felt more true than ever. So much joy has poured into my life like star shine. . . still, without Mom, there will ever be the need for comfort, especially at the holidays.”
At Christmas, I find myself more homesick than ever for the day when this tension no longer exists…when comfort is no longer needed.
Joy and sorrow are a part of this life and holding on clinging desperately to His Hope is the solution for the ups, the downs and every emotional wave in between.
I know this feeling has been heightened this year because of the recent massacre in Connecticut. I also know there is a part of me that grieves for all the losses this year in my own family…the death of my grandma, the sudden death of my nephews’ mom, my dad’s stroke and his loss of mobility and independence, the loss of jobs and income for several family members.
As I was writing this post, a portion of Psalm 71 came to mind. This is my prayer for anyone who might need to be reminded that Jesus came to earth to restore all the things in this world that are wrong.
You have allowed me to suffer much hardship,
but you will restore me to life again
and lift me up from the depths of the earth.
You will restore me to even greater honor
and comfort me once again. (20-21)
One day, it will all be made right. Cling tightly to that comfort today.