“Last night I was thinking how one date on a calendar can hold both memories of pain and loss and also memories of joy and new chapters. Beauty mixed with pain. It’s a concept and a part of life I seem to never get tired of thinking about.” – June 2016
Three months after writing those words my dad passed away on the same day as my birthday. Last year, when I realized it was going to play out like that, I wasn’t sad. I didn’t see it as a date that would forever be scarred…at least not in a bad way. I know it may sound strange to some but I actually took it more as a reassuring embrace from my Savior. My heart knows with incredible certainty that Jesus doesn’t waste any pain in our lives and in our stories.
I saw the timing of my dad’s death more as an act of love. My dad was free from the shackles of bedridden-ness the same day on the calendar that he and my mom watched me come into this world. They had three kids so this was probably one of the three most joyful days in their lives. (This is me speaking as a parent.) 🙂
If there is a scar in this story, it’s the scar of grace and mercy. It’s my Savior showing me the wounds in His hands again and saying to me… I can redeem anything. I can make it beautiful. Keep holding onto that!
I live each day, expectantly, knowing that this is how He operates. It fills me with awe and every moment, good or bad, becomes an opportunity to ask. Ok Lord …do it again…point me to Your scars.
I was guided to those words from June 2016 again this morning. In the same post, I also shared the account of Jesus feeding the 5000. The part I love most about that story is the part about the leftovers. John’s account puts it this way:
“When they were full, He told His disciples, “Collect the leftovers so that nothing is wasted.” John 6:12
I think the reminder that Jesus doesn’t waste anything is as cool as the miracle we read about just a few sentences earlier detailing the feeding of so many people with just 5 loaves and 2 fish.
You waste nothing, Lord. Do it again!
And now, God, do it again—
bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair
will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
So those who went off with heavy hearts
will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing. Ps 126: 4-6 Message