Yesterday I woke up with snow on the brain. Actually, I was thinking about the story of how my husband and I first met. We celebrated 12 years of marriage yesterday and, a little over a year ago, I wrote a blog post called “How April Snow Brought Us Together.” Before heading off to church yesterday I reread that post along with the following scripture and wrote these thoughts down.
This morning I read Deuteronomy 31:8 during my quiet time. “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you, he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
This verse was part of a devotional talking about worry. We have a tendency to worry about the future, about what is waiting around corner. But this verse reassures us that God already sees, already knows, and promises to walk with us through it all.
Today, I’ve been married to my husband for 12 years. Those years have flown by and I am so grateful that God brought Roger into my life. Each year at this time, I can’t help but think about the story of our lives coming together and how it all played out. I love remembering how God was orchestrating a plan months (probably longer) before the two of us even set eyes on each other. Who knew a few snowflakes in Asheville, NC one April afternoon would guide me to where I needed to be? If you’ve never read that story, you can read it here. It’s basically the story of how my husband and I met. This may seem silly to some but I truly believe God used snowflakes (flakes that fell almost a year prior to our first date) to help bring our stories together.
But to go back to the verse above. This was one of the verses I was clinging to and focusing on 13 years ago prior to meeting Roger. I was in a season of starting over. I had moved to a town (2400 miles away from home) where I knew NO ONE. I was recently divorced. I had fully surrendered an addiction. After a decade of trying to navigate my own life, I was back on the path where I was letting God lead the way again. And, like so many paths God leads us down, it’s sometimes hard to understand the why until we are able to glance in the rear view mirror. Then, we get it. Then, we understand.
It’s only then when snowflakes in April make sense.
Now, I do know there are times we look in the rear view mirror and God’s plan still seems to lack a good reason. We are hard pressed to find anything good in the plan. I think of horrific pains and losses and my heart comes up empty. It makes no sense, sometimes. But, it is during those time when we must choose to cling to the only plan we can cling to…the plan and the promise of His Presence through it all. The plan that says…“I am with you….even in THIS I am with you.” Sometimes, we look in the rear view mirror and that is the only thing that makes sense. And, over the years, I’ve come to realize that this is the only thing that has to make sense: a BIG GOD walking the dark road with us who is fully capable of loving us, comforting us, and strengthening us through it all.
I don’t know what season you might be walking through today but I do know this: You never have to walk through it alone. Never.
I wrote those words prior to heading to church yesterday. I didn’t post them to my blog. They didn’t feel done yet.
As I stood with the congregation to sing prior to yesterday’s message, one of the songs was “Jesus Paid It All (Oh Praise the One)”
“Jesus paid it all
all to him I owe
sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow.
He washed it white as snow…
Oh, praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!”
Thank you, Lord, for snow in April. And, thank you, for the never-ending graceflakes that fall on us continually.
NOW…this post is finished. 🙂