I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how crazy this faith journey can look and feel during those moments in life when you are peering through the wrong lens. It happens sometimes. It happened just the other day on the drive to work. I suddenly had this thought: “what if this is all in vain? Am I absolutely nuts?” (Don’t answer that last question 😉 )
I love how Paul explains this partial sight of faith in 1 Corinthians “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known”
It reminds of when a photographer takes a photo where the image upfront is clear and sharp but all background images have been blurred out to some degree. Life is happening behind the scenes in all the blurriness yet we just have a hard time seeing, defining, or understanding it all. Our eyes are focused on the stuff right in front of us. But then, there are those moments when the eyes of our hearts catch a glimpse of what lies beyond in all the blurriness.
I catch glimpses of His glory there… and I hold on to those image for as long as possible. Oh! to see all clearly…to understand fully!
Yesterday I texted with a volunteer to see how she was was doing, her mother-in-law had passed away a couple of days ago. Her reply took me there and my heart could see the blurry images with clarity again. She said, “We got to be there with her when she passed, she had tears in her eyes (we think sadness for leaving us yet joyful tears for seeing Jesus and family)…she had a smile on her face!….She kept reaching up for awhile…the light of Jesus. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this moment for anything!”
And, of course, I couldn’t help but think of that Sunday afternoon so many years ago when I watched my own mom pass. I thought about those eyes again and how they contained more joy and hope than I ever knew eyes could possibly hold. I thought about the smile on her face, her reassuring words to me, and her reciting Psalm 23.
There was a time in my life when I allowed this image and this moment to fall back into the blurry background and I lost my way. Today, I hold this moment close to my heart, where it belongs. It has guided me through uncertain days filled with unanswered questions. It has reminded me to hold on to HOPE time and time again.
This morning, on the drive to work I thought again of a post I wrote several years back “But Mary faced the tomb…” from John 20. But the words that hit my heart this morning were a little further along in the text. “Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”
Thinking he was the gardener. I love that. Mary had mistaken Jesus as something her mind could just brush to the blurry background. At that moment, she was looking through the wrong lens. All she saw was the picture clearly in front of her…her Savior, her Hope was missing. But then, the blurry background, called out to her by name…Mary!
Lord, would you call out to us by name today? When we are tempted to leave all that is blurry or hard to understand or describe in the background, would You help us to hear Your voice calling our names and see Your hand guiding us home.