What If I Forget Her?

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TOPIC:Remember

It’s been over twenty years since the loss of my mom. Some days it feels like one year and other days it feels like fifty. I remember my first 4th of July without her in my life…not because it was the 4th of July, but because it was ten days away from marking the one year anniversary of her death. I remember the terrifying thought that swept over me as I drove to meet friends to watch a fireworks display.

“Lord, what if I forget her?”

The question upset me so much, I turned my car around and went home.

Today, I am thankful. I am so thankful that God has blessed us with the ability to remember. Just yesterday, I was remembering and sharing with the ladies in my bible study group that not only do I remember the loss but I remember what God can do with the loss. I remember how He is powerful enough to take even our deepest hurts and use them for His glory.

I remember.

And, I wouldn’t want it any other way.  The joy, the sorrow. The pain, the healing. It’s shaped me into who I am today. It’s brought me to this spacious place.

22 thoughts on “What If I Forget Her?

  1. Mary Jo

    This is simply beautiful. I love the part about how it shaped you into who you are today. Lovely. May God continue to hold you in the palm of your hand. (And may you know that you are doing a beautiful job of keeping your mom’s spirit alive!)

    Reply
  2. Shelly Miller

    I lost my mother fourteen years ago and her birthday is on July 4th! Only she didn’t pass away, I lost her to alcoholism and bi-polar disease. Like you, God has done a tremendous amount to shape me through the loss of a mother. Thankful that your memories are happy ones! Enjoyed your words today, they bring hope.

    Reply
    1. Eileen Post author

      Very sorry to hear this, Shelly. It’s hard to see people we love go through things like that. But, YES, God can redeem any and all of the pain. Thanks for your comment.

      Reply
  3. Allison

    I posted this once, but it didn’t seem like it took–so hopefully this won’t appear twice!

    I am so glad God gifted you with such wonderful memories of your mother, not only of her, but of what He has done for you in the loss and healing. Beautifully written!
    BTW- you won the DVD giveaway on my blog! Email me your address and I’ll get it out right away-it’s a great movie!

    Reply
  4. Caroline

    What a strong truth to remember, Eileen: “…but I remember what God can do with the loss. I remember how He is powerful enough to take even our deepest hurts and use them for His glory.” Thank you for reminding us today, too.

    Reply
  5. Val

    I lost my Mom six years ago. This post is absolutely beautiful. I agree that we DO remember and we DO see what God can do with the pain.

    Reply
  6. Barbie

    Although I do not enjoy the pain, it truly does help to shape me into who I am today. Sorry about the loss of your mom, but thankful for the memories He’s given to you!

    Reply
    1. Eileen Post author

      Barbie, I don’t enjoy it either, but I do love how God can transform it and help us see the “value” in it.

      Reply
  7. Janet

    Sometimes God can use our losses most effectively. More than the good times. It seems the losses dig deeper into our being & souls and linger there. We go about doing our work and there is that “something” just dwelling there. The loss.

    My almost 16 y/o son died 25 years ago. He should have been 41 this year. God has used this to help me minister to other mothers who have lost children. There is nothing that speaks encouragement to a grieving mother, than another mother who has been there – and survived.

    11 Cor 1:4 (I think) says that the God of all comforts, comforts us so that we can comfort others. That’s my very loose paraphrase.

    Excellent post, Eileen. I can no longer remember his laugh. How I wish I could. A friend gave me a tape of his laughing. What a precious gift.

    God can use anything for his glory. Even our deepest hurts.

    BTW – I love your new site.

    Reply
    1. Eileen Post author

      Janet,

      I love your opening thought. “We go about doing our work and there is that “something” just dwelling there. The loss. ” It becomes a part of who we are. I guess that’s the part I find beautiful about it all. God takes it and we can minister to others because of it. So glad that God has been using you to minister to other hurting moms.

      And, yes, what a precious gift from your friend!

      Reply

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