Do you ever find yourself getting swept up in the excitement of someone else’s dream?
I love to write. I’ve shared in this space before about what transpired when I faced my fear, picked up a pen, and started writing again. It was like a part of me which had been dead for years finally came back to life.
I started experiencing a joy I never knew existed. This is the first reason I write. Writing does something inside me that nothing else has ever been able to do. As I typed those last few sentences, I started to cry. And simultaneously the scene from the movie Romancing the Stone popped into my mind, the opening scene where Kathleen Turner begins blubbering all over her finished novel. I’m a mess. 😉 (Thank you, Lord, everyone in my house is still asleep.)
I also write because I hope the words I share or the stories I relay might make a difference in at least one person’s life (other than mine). About the same time I started writing, I had this overwhelming desire to inspire others with my testimony. I wanted to spread hope and encouragement with my words.
To go back to my original thought…do you ever find yourself getting swept up in the excitement of someone else’s dream?
I know I do. Over the past couple of years I’ve had the beautiful opportunity to rub shoulders (at least through my computer screen) with other writers. I love it. I have learned so much from being in community with other folks whose passion in life is to make a difference with their words. But I have this huge tendency to quietly hold onto a very unhealthy misconception:
If you can’t or don’t move this way or that way, you have somehow failed at your craft.
I’m tired of secretly feeling this way. No one has ever told me this. It’s simply the pressure I put on myself. I get caught up in believing that in order for my words and message to be “good enough” then I have to strive for more. And, not just more…but somebody else’s idea of more.
Then I go about attempting to fit a round peg into a square hole. It’s exhausting and not in a fun way either. I begin chasing after things I don’t really want…all because I get caught up in somebody else’s really cool dream.
It’s taken me 40 years, but I’m beginning to figure something out.
I am not a failure because I don’t have the same drive inside of me.
On a side note, I had to figure this out about scrapbooking a few years ago. I wanted to love scrapbooking because I have a good friend who loves scrapbooking. But, guess what? I hate scrapbooking.
Perhaps, one day, God will light this fire or that fire in my soul. But it’s not there. And I’m tired of trying to make that fire start.
God is using me right now, the way He wants to use me right now.
I’m not a professional writer. I have no aspirations to be a full-time writer. I’m a girl who has found joy in the process of getting her thoughts out of her head and down on paper.
I’m a girl who wants to encourage others by sharing, as authentically as possible, what is on her heart. And, if the Lord can use that…then all I desire is for the willingness to bravely and faithfully follow Him down the road.
So, in follow-up to my last post…
I’m saying NO to following someone else’s dream.
Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life ~Galatians 6: 4-5 Message