“When I get to Heaven I’ll understand the pain
And I’ll hurt for those who have not come yet
But I won’t hurt the same” ~Steve Moakler, Holiday at Sea
May is one of those months when I am more aware of loss. Mother’s Day, my mom’s birthday and the anniversary of my dad’s devastating (life changing) stroke* show up on the calendar this month.
Years ago, I had a few questions for God. I took comfort in the fact that, one day, He would supply me with answers.
Why did He allow this?
Why did He not stop that?
But, nowadays, I don’t think I’ll ask Him a single one of my questions.
I don’t believe they’ll even cross my mind.
I’ll know. I’ll understand.
“as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12
I think my questions will, one day, be that far away too.
Sometimes, I wonder if it will be like giving birth. The journey of child-birth can hurt like hell and yet when we are holding that little child in our arms, we don’t ask why it had to hurt. The answer is right there resting in our arms. The answer is bigger than the pain. The beauty shines brighter and deeper than all the questions and doubts.
The pathway to unending love isn’t pain-free.
I’ve experienced pain in order to grasp the depths of His love for me.
I’ve experienced bondage in order to recognize and cherish the sweetness of freedom.
I’ve experienced the cold, dark winter nights so I can look at the sun rising out of the valley and know, really know, who to thank.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about my friends and family whose grief is still so fresh. In a sense, they are still giving birth, they don’t know when the pain will subside…and it hurts like hell.
Yet, the one thing I know for sure, the answer will, one day, far outweigh the pain.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18
*Update from original post: Dad passed away in 2016