This past weekend their church launched a new series on marriage. The question he asked on his blog was this:
What’s the number one thing that has been detrimental to my marriage becoming everything I think God wants it to become?
I read through the answers people had left in the comment section and one answer in particular stood out to me.
When I stopped pursuing my husband.
I’ve been thinking about that answer all week.
I think husbands and wives would be wise to regularly ask ourselves this question.
Am I still pursuing my spouse?
I think back 9 years ago when my husband and I met. When we were apart, I counted the minutes until we could spend time together again. I rearranged my day to make spending time with him a priority. It wasn’t an inconvenience, I was more than happy to do it! I would go out of my way to do things for him that would hopefully bring joy to his life and to let him know just how much I loved him. Just sitting in the same room together on the couch made me giddy!
We all know that much of the courtship feelings tend to go away at some point. Once we get married, spouses tend to get comfortable, kids come along and life gets busy and stressful. We tell ourselves that we will make “us” a priority once life slows down, once the children are older. Problem is…life never seems to slow down and as the children grow older different challenges crop up that seem to need our immediate attention.
Something else always comes up.
Then, we tend to drift. We tend to go through the motions and if we aren’t careful we find we have been drifting so long that we’ve simply become two people living separate lives but happen to share living space under the same roof.
I don’t want this. Do you?
I am starting to understand better why God compares our relationship with Him to a marriage. If we aren’t careful we tend to do the same with Christ. When we meet Him and fall in love with Him, we pursue Him! We organize our days to make Him a priority. We seek to get to know Him more and to understand Him better. We are content to sit on the couch and open His Word…because to spend that time with Him refreshes our soul, recharges our relationship and fills us with joy!
I desire this kind of marriage…with my Heavenly Father and with my spouse!
I wanted him desperately. His absence was painful.
So I got up, went out and roved the city,
hunting through streets and down alleys.
I wanted my lover in the worst way!
I looked high and low, and didn’t find him.
And then the night watchmen found me
as they patrolled the darkened city.
“Have you seen my dear lost love?” I asked.
No sooner had I left them than I found him,
found my dear lost love.
I threw my arms around him and held him tight,
wouldn’t let him go until I had him home again,
safe at home beside the fire.
(Solomon 3:1-5 MSG)