20 Years Ago Yesterday

I was excited to write another Five Minute Friday all week. It’s a time when we just write for 5 minutes not worrying whether everything is just right. This morning I check over at Gypsy Mama’s site to discover the fun topic for today…LOSS.

And here was my reaction…

Really, Lord? Again?

I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 18 year old. She died on July 14, 1991. That was 20 years ago, yesterday. Yesterday, I wrote this post Twenty Years Ago Today.

I have written SO many posts about this particular loss in my life. Before losing someone close to me, I used to think grief was something you “got over” and you stopped talking about it. I don’t believe this anymore. It is normal to carry the loss of a loved one with you the rest of your days on this earth. Life does move on and goes on. You discover joy, and laughter, and happiness again. But, a part of you never forgets and never gets over it. And, I wouldn’t want it any other way. (Except for the option of no more death and no more tears.)

I love memories of my mom. I loved her smile and her laugh. I loved how she would tickle my back if I stretched out on the couch next to her. I loved going for walks with her. I loved riding along in the car with her and singing the most recent song she had written about her love for the Lord. I loved popping popcorn and watching The Sound of Music with her for the 85th time.

I loved her… I still love her.

If you are experiencing a recent loss in your life, I want these next couple sentences to speak directly to you.

Don’t believe the lie that you have to “get over it.” If you need to talk about it. Talk about it. If you need to cry about it. Cry about it. If you need to write about it. Write about it.

I am so thankful that this separation from a loved one in my life is temporary. I will see her again one day. What an amazing reunion that will be!

17 thoughts on “20 Years Ago Yesterday

  1. oh amanda {impress your kids}

    Yes! Come quickly Lord! What a beautiful and encouraging post about loss! It's only temporary. Thank you!

    a

    Reply
  2. Jennifer

    I am so sorry that you lost your mom at a young age, but your perspective is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

    Visiting from the Gypsy Mama!

    Reply
  3. Beck Gambill

    I mentor a young woman who lost her mother a few years ago. She was in college at the time and didn't allow herself to slow down to embrace the grief and loss. You have great insight into the journey of grief I plan on sharing with her. Thank you!

    Reply
  4. My daily walk in His grace!

    Hi Eileen. I think you have a very good way of dealing with this loss. Anyone going through what you went through can be encouraged here.
    God bless and have a great weekend
    Tracy

    Reply
  5. asoulsoiree

    Beautiful thoughts … cherishing the memories of the ones we loved and lost is so important and I love that one day there will be – no more death, no more tears…Yay!!

    Reply
  6. Eileen

    Thanks for the comments, everyone! I see some new faces and will be making my way over to visit your sites later today. 🙂

    Beck, I lost my mom right before starting my second year in college. I made the same mistake your friend made. I am now very passionate about the importance of grieving.

    Reply
  7. Kandi

    Eileen,

    Beautiful post today Eileen. As much as we would like to have those we lost living here with us, we know they are with Jesus now, and we will see them again one day, in place where there is no more death and no more tears.

    Blessings to you Eileen.

    Reply
  8. Jenifer

    Eileen, that will be a beautiful reunion! I am so thankful we have that promise of seeing our loved ones again in Heaven.

    Reply
  9. Caroline

    I agree with the first Jennifer's comment… this perspective is beautiful, comforting, and needed. Thank you for sharing this, Eileen.

    Reply
  10. Stacie

    My heart aches for you reading this. For all those beautiful big and small memories you carry with you… Thank you for being willing to share them here.

    Reply
  11. karendalycook

    This was beautiful. Uncanny how we both wrote on grief and loss today. I pray that today you feel free to experience the full range of emotions you have regarding your mom and that you celebrate her life. It sounds like she was a wonderful woman who imparted her love of life to you – what a gift!
    Grace & Peace my friend….

    Reply
  12. Eileen

    Oh, I SO need to update my comment section so I can answer each one of your comments separately! Beautiful comments.

    Yes, I look forward to a reunion one day!! So thankful we have this hope in Christ.

    Karen, your post was great! If you have a moment all of you should go check it out!

    Reply
  13. Rebecca

    this is beautiful and i thank you for sharing. thank you so much. i lost my dad suddenly a year ago in may. i have such a hard time with it but feel like others around me think i should be getting over it. thanks again!

    Reply
  14. Eileen

    Rebecca, I am very sorry for your loss. Grief is different for everyone. One thing I have discovered is that loss becomes a part of who we are. It becomes our new "normal". It's a huge adjustment learning how to live without someone in our life that we love dearly. But, with the Lord's help he is able to amazing things with our grief and with our pain!

    You will be in my prayers. I pray that God will continue to bring healing and comfort to you. So glad you stopped by today.

    Reply
  15. leebird

    I so agree with you sister! Sometimes, something will happen and the grief over losing several loved ones over a short period will pop up out of nowhere. A picture, a person who resembles, a scent. You never really completely get over missing the loved one, but the hope of heaven is surely sweet. I can't imagine dealing with the other alternative.

    Reply
  16. Me

    My grandmother died about a year ago – and I loved her, and still love her. and miss her. It's good to feel that loss, I think it makes the life we have that much more precious.
    Blessings!
    lIb
    http://bit.ly/qDvQ0S

    Reply

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