Finding The Light – Guest Post

Today, I am excited to have Heidi Avery joining us on The Scenic Route! Over the past year, I’ve gotten to know and love Heidi via the blogging world. She is a wife and a mother to three children. When she is not home schooling, you can find her encouraging other busy mothers over at Mothers On Mission.

Finding The Light

A child is born in the world dependent on those whose arms she rests in. In the best of circumstances she is secure in the care of her parents. All of her needs are met. She is without the knowledge of fear.

It is an eventual and inevitable experience or exposure to darkness that invites the feelings of insecurity and fear into her heart.

Lately I’ve wondered where it all started for me and why. What particular moment in my history was security robbed from me and where did fear slip in? Trying to think it through a memory surfaces…

She wasn’t supposed to tell me the news. But she slipped. My sister and I are visiting my grandparents in Iowa for the summer. I know something is wrong, but I can’t put it together. I am nine or ten, I think. At the first mention to my cousin of these concerns five words fall freely from her lips… “Your house has burned down.”

Soon after my parents arrive to drive us back home to Texas. To the burned house. Where everything is, but isn’t anymore. There is no insurance money and my parents decide not to leave the two acre property that the destroyed house still sits on.

A purchase is made for two travel trailers. One is regular looking, white paneled with stripes of some color and setup with its door facing the front of the burned house. My parents stay here. The other is the silver bullet style placed along the side of the house. This one is for me and my little sister. The door faces the pitch-black country night.

And I wonder if it is here. In that trailer, in our new and unusual room, set aside, alone, door closed and locked to the darkness outside that fear snuck into my little girl heart.

I wonder if the loss of everything I knew to the flames and the separation from my parents though just feet away through the onyx night is where insecurity gripped a hold of me.

It must be there. The place that established worry over my safety and fear over my future as my foundation for my every step ahead. And I clumsily muddle along this uncertain road for years and years.

Until God.

As He reveals Himself to me I gradually begin to understand just who I am in Him. Pieces of His plan unfold behind me and before me. And the journey here, no matter how long or how hard no longer takes me under, but instead it acts beautifully as an irresistible pull to Himself. Where the security I was born with is restored to me again. And the place where fear was once unknown is returned to me again.

I rest in the security of His arms. And He meets my every need.

And though I battle still with fear and insecurity they are no longer my foundation. Just obstacles along the path that keep me connected to the One who continues to cancel them out.

I am at the place where I am honestly thankful for the experience that exposed me to the darkness because it is what He used to show me the light.

After all, what is darkness anyway? Merely the absence of light.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:1

12 thoughts on “Finding The Light – Guest Post

  1. Kandi

    Heidi/Eileen,

    Thank you for sharing your story, I still too battle with fear and insecurity but they longer control me, they do not paralyze me, Jesus is my foundation, my security, my hope, the source of my peace and joy in the midst of my fears and insecurities. Lovely post. Blessings to you both.

    Reply
  2. Jenifer

    Great to see you over here Heidi! I love your story. God is with us even in those dark moments. He is there waiting for us to grasp His hands. Thank you for this encouragement.

    Reply
  3. Lisa

    This is beautiful, Heidi! Darkness is just the absence of light. When we are in the dark, there is fear. But now we have stepped into the Glorious Light, and His perfect love casts out our fear. Great encouragement!

    Reply
  4. Mel

    Wonderful post, Heidi. Fear and insecurity, they sure have a way of slithering into our lives, don't they? Thank you for sharing your insights and story!

    Blessings,
    Mel
    Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God

    Reply
  5. Kelli

    This is so beautiful. I felt your pain and fear leaping out across the page. I'm so glad to be living in light because the dark is a scary place to be. Love u

    Reply
  6. Debbie Dillon

    Oh my goodness, Heidi. Thank you for sharing your heart even though I'm sure it must have been painful to re-visit some of those memories. I especially love: "And though I battle still with fear and insecurity they are no longer my foundation. Just obstacles along the path that keep me connected to the One who continues to cancel them out." Beautifully written 🙂

    Reply
  7. Eileen

    Thanks so much for sharing with us today, Heidi! Love your new perspective. Fear is simply an obstacle that encourages/reminds us to keep our eyes focused on the One takes the fear away. He's definitely paid the debt and the light shines brightly on this truth.

    Reply
  8. Allison

    Fancy seeing you over here Heidi! Love the post. Fear is a struggle for me also, but I have no idea where the root came from. I just know He is the One who can come in and make it go away!

    Reply
  9. Heidi

    Eileen, thank you again for letting me take the Scenic Route today! And thanks everyone for your sweet comments… I heart you!

    Reply
  10. Phather Phil Malmstrom

    What a powerful testament, and a telling story Heidi. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

    In those seasons of our lives where fear, confusion and dismay run the show, it can be difficult to see through that haze and find God's loving embrace. Thankfully however, He knows our design, and our hearts, and is always waiting to bring us into His light when we call for Him.

    Have a Blessed Day!

    Reply
  11. Shannon Milholland

    Eileen, always love your blog. Thanks for hosting my sweet friend today!

    Heidi, what a beautiful testimony of the grace of God. He enters right into our insecurities to wrap us in unfailing love.

    Reply

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