Never Beyond- More Than Your Mistakes

Today I am linking up with People of The Second Chance (POTSC) again for their Never Beyond series. Sometimes we extend grace to others much easier than we extend grace to ourselves. Sometimes we spend time running from and hiding from His grace. But, experiencing everything that God has to offer to us requires that we make the decision to grab hold of this amazing grace that He’s made possible and claim it for ourselves! You are more than your mistakes!

I knew I drank too much. I knew that drinking was my way of numbing all the mistakes and wrong turns I had made in my life. Instead of confronting my failures and choosing to use them as a catalyst for change…

I drank, I temporarily escaped, and I briefly forgot.

But the problem was, when I sobered up, all my mistakes were still there.

During my years of running away from the Lord, I’d become a functional drunk. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t go more than a couple of days without a drink. I rationalized that this was okay. As long as I could still function “normally” no one would have to know and nothing would have to change.

I went to extreme measures to prove to myself that although I might be a drunk behind closed doors, I could still appear to be a normal, successful looking human being in public. I would drink a bottle or more of wine every single night and then get up early the next morning and run 5 miles on the treadmill at the gym.

I was exceeding at my new job, I was making friends at my new church. Everything looked good from the outside. I was normal.

No one had to know that, on the inside, I felt like a complete failure.

No one had to know that, sometimes, I would get in my car after the first bottle of wine and drive drunk down the road to the convenient store to purchase more wine.

No one had to know that I would often pass out on my couch at night with a coffee mug full of Merlot, only to wake up hours later covered in red.

No one had to know that on an out-of-town business trip one night, I went to a bar an allowed a complete stranger and his roommate to drive me home to their house and have sex with me.

No one had to know.

The only problem was

I knew.

My mistakes consumed me. I ran away from the Lord when I was 18 and I didn’t stop running for nearly a decade. I racked up countless mistakes and failures too.

And yet, today, I can look back and see how God was able to take each wrong turn and each miserable choice and use it for His Glory. When I finally made the choice to run back to the Lord, He not only gave me a fresh, clean start but He also redeemed each and every one of my mistakes.

All He requires is that we come and lay the mess down at His feet.

My mistakes no longer consume me. And more importantly, they no longer define me.

I used to beat myself up over my past. Today, I stand in awe of what God’s grace can accomplish!

No one is beyond the reach of His grace, His healing, and His love.

11 thoughts on “Never Beyond- More Than Your Mistakes

  1. Jenifer

    You are more than your past mistakes. So true. I love that song by Tenth Avenue North that talks about this. We are more because we are saved by grace.

    Reply
  2. Tracy

    HI Eileen – I am so grateful for God’s grace that covers all our mistakes. We are not defined by our mistakes, we are defined by our God. Your transparency here will touch many a broken person and help them on their path to being healed in Jesus name.
    God bless sweet friend. I am grateful that God rescued you and placed you here for all of us to learn from
    Tracy

    Reply
  3. Margaret

    Eileen: thank you for the courage it took to write those words. I very much appreciate the feeling you must have had in the pit of your stomach when you saw them on the page for the first time.

    What a powerful demonstration of second chances in action. Each of us, every day, move beyond our mistakes.

    Proud to be POTSC with you!

    Reply
  4. Lisa

    Eileen, I really appreciate your openness and honesty with this post. We all have a past – and God always has a plan. I’m so thankful that He can take my mess and turn it into something beautiful to be used for His glory. Amazing Grace!

    Many blessings, sweet friend!

    Reply
    1. Eileen Post author

      Lisa, the fact that God is able to transform our lives and our mistakes is a topic I NEVER get tired of talking about! Yes, amazing grace!!

      Reply
  5. Heidi

    I love you Eileen Knowles. You are a beautiful, brave woman of God… I’m so blessed to know you. Thank you for sharing your heart, your testimony and God’s love so very beautifully.

    Reply
    1. Eileen Post author

      Oh, Heidi! I love you too! So very very thankful our paths have crossed. I’m pretty certain that’s a God thing! 🙂

      Reply
  6. Caroline

    Oh the honesty you’ve shared here. This statement can relate to ALL of us: “I used to beat myself up over my past. Today, I stand in awe of what God’s grace can accomplish!”

    Reply

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