Today I am linking up with People of The Second Chance (POTSC) again for their Never Beyond series. Sometimes we extend grace to others much easier than we extend grace to ourselves. Sometimes we spend time running from and hiding from His grace. But, experiencing everything that God has to offer to us requires that we make the decision to grab hold of this amazing grace that He’s made possible and claim it for ourselves! You are more than your mistakes!
I knew I drank too much. I knew that drinking was my way of numbing all the mistakes and wrong turns I had made in my life. Instead of confronting my failures and choosing to use them as a catalyst for change…
I drank, I temporarily escaped, and I briefly forgot.
But the problem was, when I sobered up, all my mistakes were still there.
During my years of running away from the Lord, I’d become a functional drunk. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t go more than a couple of days without a drink. I rationalized that this was okay. As long as I could still function “normally” no one would have to know and nothing would have to change.
I went to extreme measures to prove to myself that although I might be a drunk behind closed doors, I could still appear to be a normal, successful looking human being in public. I would drink a bottle or more of wine every single night and then get up early the next morning and run 5 miles on the treadmill at the gym.
I was exceeding at my new job, I was making friends at my new church. Everything looked good from the outside. I was normal.
No one had to know that, on the inside, I felt like a complete failure.
No one had to know that, sometimes, I would get in my car after the first bottle of wine and drive drunk down the road to the convenient store to purchase more wine.
No one had to know that I would often pass out on my couch at night with a coffee mug full of Merlot, only to wake up hours later covered in red.
No one had to know that on an out-of-town business trip one night, I went to a bar an allowed a complete stranger and his roommate to drive me home to their house and have sex with me.
No one had to know.
The only problem was
My mistakes consumed me. I ran away from the Lord when I was 18 and I didn’t stop running for nearly a decade. I racked up countless mistakes and failures too.
And yet, today, I can look back and see how God was able to take each wrong turn and each miserable choice and use it for His Glory. When I finally made the choice to run back to the Lord, He not only gave me a fresh, clean start but He also redeemed each and every one of my mistakes.
All He requires is that we come and lay the mess down at His feet.
My mistakes no longer consume me. And more importantly, they no longer define me.
I used to beat myself up over my past. Today, I stand in awe of what God’s grace can accomplish!
No one is beyond the reach of His grace, His healing, and His love.