It’s fascinating to me how normal a dream will seem when you are in the middle of one. Yet, when you wake up and begin thinking about the details you wonder why you weren’t scratching your head the entire time thinking “this is kind of weird.” Last night I had a dream like that. It wasn’t off the wall weird. Believe me, I’ve had tons of those kinds of dreams too. But it was weird enough. I’ll spare you the details.
As I sat here pondering the dream this morning, my mind drifted to a comment I made to my dad the night my mom died. My dad, brother, and I had been at the hospital all day. As we left the hospital an hour or so after her passing, my dad mentioned that we needed to eat something. We hadn’t eaten all day. There was a Pizza Hut down the road. (Okay, on a side note, I’ve mentioned Pizza Hut in my last two blog posts, what’s up with that?)
In hindsight, this was the first time in my young life when I experienced a big fact about life. When bad things happen…you and life go on. We had just lost a member of our family and now we were heading to Pizza Hut because my dad insisted we find something to eat. Of course, this makes complete sense. That’s what you do when you haven’t eaten all day. My dad was simply taking the next normal step. The only one he knew to take.
I can’t remember exactly where we were when I said it but I remember asking my dad, in more of telling than asking sort of way, “Dad, doesn’t life some times feel like one big dream and when you die you wake up.” I can’t remember how he responded to my question/statement.
That night didn’t feel the least bit real to me. It felt like I was trapped in one big bizarre dream…a dream that I knew would have to come to an end one day and, when it did, we would wake up and all of it would make sense.
It occurred to me this morning how different this is from the dreams I have while I’m sleeping during the night. The bizarre thoughts my subconscious will conjure up seem completely normal to me at the time. It isn’t until I open my eyes the next morning when I begin scratching my head in disbelief. But in life, the opposite is true, isn’t it? When “real” life is off, when the dreams we have don’t play out the way we thought they would, we are deeply aware (and some times painfully aware) that things are far from normal or ideal.
The more I thought about this, the more I realized that, today, I cling to the same thing I found myself clinging to the night my mom died. One day, it will all make sense. I’m not sure why that brings me comfort when life gets turned on its head, but it does. I guess that’s one of the many beautiful aspects of Hope.
I love that I don’t have to have the answers to all the “whys” in my life in order to have peace and joy today. My job is to hold on to the Truth that He is working everything for good. And, that’s not just a nice thought, it’s Truth I have come to know and understand on a deep level. This faith I have today can be partially attributed to the fact that God has already given me incredible glimpses into His goodness and greatness. Over the years, I’ve watched how He puts (and continues to put) those shattered dreams in my life back together in the most beautiful way. Today, I choose to hold tightly to the Truth that He will continue to do this…in my life and in yours.