“‘That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.”- John Green
My mom passed away 23 years ago today. I honestly didn’t think I was going to blog today, at least not about the loss. Over the years, I’ve written many words of rememberance on this particular date in history. I wonder,sometimes, if there is anything new I can say. It occurred to me again this morning that there doesn’t have to be something new in order for it to be worth saying or remembering.
There are some things in life we never get tired of hearing, like the words “I love you.” We can say those words over and over and the recipient will still long to hear those words one more time, one more day. New is never a good measuring stick for gauging value and worth. There are some things in life we never want to forget. Beautiful memories are etched on our hearts for a reason. There is no way for us to go back in time and be there again. The only thing we can do is revisit the gift, feel it again, and thank the One the who put it there.
I miss my mom. This day really isn’t any more special or significant than any of the other 364 days of any of the last 23 years.
I miss my mom. A day does not go by where there is not a subtle ache. I’m thankful that life goes on and joy comes back. I am thankful that (after a small detour) I’ve learned to LIVE FULLY despite this ache. I am thankful that I have learned that aches don’t need to be (and shouldn’t be) hidden away in the dark. I am thankful that, if this journey has taught me nothing else it has taught me this: aches deserve a voice. I am thankful that I now know that putting words to life’s aches is the path that continues to take me by the hand and lead me further down this beautiful road called LIFE…this beautiful road mixed with pain and joy…healing and freedom. I embrace it all.